thought-provoking :)

hey hey. i found this and it made me think, convicted me. hope it encourages you. :) of course, there are some to agree with and some not to. you can actually remove it if u think it's not edifying. Credits to this lovely lady

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At the very least it would mean something about every day, to the best of my ability, resisting being a fake. Resisting the fake answer, the false front, the superficial conversation in favor of something more deeply human, more deeply connected to what really matters about being alive, whether it sounds religious or spiritual or correct or not. It means worrying less about being perfect and being concerned more with being authentic or real with other people. Much of the religion I was schooled in was about putting myself away, aside, behind me in order to become something holier and closer to God. In other words, to draw nearer to the Really Real I needed to be less me. Perhaps it was a mid-life revelation or just wearing out on that that led me to a different understanding that my humanity was God's chief gift to me and that if I was going to find the Really Real it was going to be within that and not separating myself from that.

~ Reverend Barbara Brown Taylor ~

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You are never a great man when you have more mind than heart

~ Beauchene ~

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This seems a cheerful world, Donatus, when I view it from this fair garden, under the shadow of these vines.

But if I climbed some great mountain and looked out over the wide lands, you know very well what I would see--brigands on the high roads, pirates on the seas; in the amphitheaters men murdered to please applauding crowds; under all roofs misery and selfishness. It is really a bad world, Donatus, an incredibly bad world.

Yet in the midst of it I have found a quiet and holy people. They have discovered a joy which is a thousand times better than any pleasures of this sinful life. They are despised and persecuted, but they care not. They have overcome the world.

These people, Donatus, are the Christians -- and I am one of them.

~ St. Cyprian, c. 258, a letter ~

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Most women think they have to settle for a life of efficiency and duty, chores and errands, striving to be the women they "ought" to be, but often feeling they have failed. Sadly, too many messages for Christian women add to the pressure. "Do these ten things, and you wil be a godly woman."

~ Captivating ~

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"Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."

~ Saint Augustine ~

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The glory of God is man fully alive

~ St. Irenaeus ~

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"No man is greater than his prayer life. The pastor who is not praying is playing; the people who are not praying are straying. The pulpit can be a shop window to display one's talents, the prayer closet allows no showing off.

Poverty stricken as the chuch is today in many things, she is most stricken in the place of prayer. We have many organisers but few agonizers; many players and payers, few pray-ers; many singers, few clingers; lots of pastors, few wrestlers; many fears, few ears; much fashion; little passion; many interferers, few intercessors; many writers, few fighters. Falling here, we fail everywhere."

~ Leonard Ravenhill in Why Revival Tarries ~

Warning! - Gross post!

<---- THIS is what you get when you don't take proper care of yourself

<---- THIS is the result of taking a lill part of your body for granted

<---- THIS is painful....

The picture above is taken five days after I scraped a tiny portion of my skin accidently while mopping the floor under my chair. It was a very very minor cut so I left it exposed... By the way, that part which I scraped off is the part where I have to bend all the time... That's why it is so hard to heal. Anyway, two days later, I realised that it was getting worse. So, I applied some Burnol (antiseptic cream) which I had all the while *I bought it when I fell down while playing skateboard in INTI College* and then I bandaged it. But! It still didn't heal and in fact, it got infected...
Last night, I had a sudden inspiration to read the inscriptions on my Burnol and the expiry date: Sept 2006 ... -_-'''

I just came back from seeing the doctor in YIH today and this is what I have on my hand now:

a mini cast on my ring finger

Well, this is nothing compared to what Yoong Yit went through and for that, I am humbled.

1 Cor 12

20There are many parts, but one body... 22...those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
27Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.

I was thinking about....

The image above appeared in my head today while I was trying my best to concentrate on what my prof was saying... I think it was something like Root Loci Analysis... hmm... whatever that is...
Anyway, the whole movie started to play in my head... Yeap, it's The Lion King; One of my Disney favourites! And then, I added the sound effects to my brainwaves and I could hear young Simba and Nala singing and dancing to the song "Oh, I just can't wait to be King" *hooves thumping the ground* *elephants blowing their trumpet trunks* *la la la la la* Ok, pause.... let me fast forward to the scence in the picture above and here's how it goes...

{Simba is awestruck. The wind picks up. In the air the huge image of Mufasa is forming from the clouds. He appears to be walking from the stars. The image is ghostly at first, but steadily gains color and coherence.}

Mufasa: {Quietly at first} Simba . . .
Simba: Father?
Mufasa: Simba, you have forgotten me.
Simba: No. How could I?
Mufasa: You have forgotten who you are, and so have forgotten me. Look inside yourself, Simba. You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the Circle of Life.
Simba: How can I go back? I'm not who I used to be.
Mufasa: Remember who you are. You are my son, and the one true king.

{Close up of Simba's face, bathed in the golden light, showing a mixture of awe, fear, and sadness. The image of Mufasa starts to fade.}

For the benefit of the minority who have never watched The Lion King before, here's the story in a nutshell. Simba disobeyed his father which kinda caused his father's death (actually it was his villian uncle who killed him) and was deceived to run away and never to return. So he did and then he met Timon and Pumbaa who raised him up in Hakuna-Matata-Land and there he spent his days eating grubs and singing songs (like what all Disney cartoons do). All was well till suddenly, Nala (his childhood buddy) reappeared one day and told him that his mad uncle was destroying his land a.k.a Pride Rock and asked him to go back to reclaim his throne. But, haunted by his past, Simba refused and that's when his father, Mufasa, had to intervene and appear to him in a vision....

The word REMEMBER struck me in class today as vividly as how Simba saw his father in the clouds....

Then I REMEMBERed what Ps. Eugene shared on the last night of Sanctification Week. He took his text from Deut 8 and the key message in it is to REMEMBER the Lord your God.

Well you see, I am like Simba and I am running away from certain responsibilities because of some things that happened in the past. Yeah, you may think that I am strong but I am nothing if I do not know who I am. *I'll talk more on strength vs weakness another day....*

The devil knows our Achilles’ heel and that is to rob us of our identities... But today, I am reminded that I am His daughter and therefore I am heir to the Kingdom of God. And being Princesses, we have BIG BIG responsibilities... but... we have our Timons and Pumbaas to help us along the way.... Will you help me, sis?

{Rafiki whacks Simba on the head with his staff.}

Simba: Oww! Jeez-- What was that for?
Rafiki: It doesn't matter; it's in the past! {laughs}
Simba: {Rubbing head} Yeah, but it still hurts.
Rafiki: Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or... learn from it.

{He swings at Simba with his staff again. This time Simba ducks.}

Rafiki: Hah, you see! So what are you going to do?

teach me to be broken

The Real Me
by Natalie Grant

Foolish heart looks like we're here again
Same old game of plastic smile
Don't let anybody in
Hiding my heartache, will this glass house break
How much will they take before I'm empty
Do I let it show, does anybody know?

But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me

Painted on, life is behind a mask
Self-inflicted circus clown
I'm tired of the song and dance
Living a Charade, always on parade
What a mess I've made of my existence
But you love me even now
And still I see somehow

But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me

Wonderful, beautiful is what you see
When you look at me
You're turning the tattered fabric of my life into
A perfect tapestry
I just wanna be me

But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me

And you love me just as I am

Wonderful, Beautiful is what you see
When you look at me

where are you...where are you....
I'm here. I'm here.
where are you, God? i need you so. please don't let me go. don't let me go. hold my heart. embrace me.

"i won't go up. I won't," i resolved in my heart.

but when Ps Melvyn began to call out, when God began to reach out, it crumbled. i really did want to go up. but then, what? would it just end there? i didn't know. but all i knew was, this was for me. jacob running away. i have been literally running away from people these few weeks. and then, Ps Eugene said, "fear of man," and oh i knew, i had to go. i had to. He was calling me.

so i went, and my heart did a small turn when i realized i was smack in the centre at the aisles. tried to be as nonchalant and unfearful as possible.

all i wanted, willed myself to do was just come before God, my Father. i said in my heart i didn't need an experience, but i wanted Him. i just wanted to be in His presence. i definitely did not set out to cry :) but i felt, His gentle gentle love embrace my heart. all over me.

my sister Roxanne, from Ps Lily's cluster came alongside with me and prayed. and God spoke so clearly through her. i told her nothing. but she had faith to release His Words of truth, love and grace. and it meant so much to me. just spoke to the core of my heart. the center of my struggle.

and i remember sobbing from the depths of my heart (stomach) as she encouraged me to just release everything. fear. things kept in for so long. pain. i think, it is the safest place to be. crying and being weak before my loving Father God. being me, the real me. weak. ugly. i had to face up to everyone of them and experience it all over. that's what i've been running from. and that's how it ended. healed in the embrace of God.

as she held my hand, it felt as if God was holding mine. even all the way out as we headed to the consolidation room to continue. a few weeks ago, i told God i wanted to bring to light the things inside and to confess and be set free. and He did. today. God gave me 2 verses through Roxanne and Melissa later.

..that i am His beloved daughter in whom He is well pleased...
even before i started serving. even before i do all the things i do. stop striving.

...perfect love casts out all fear...
to overcome my fears, just know that God loves me totally and completely. do it in His perfect love. just focus on Him. and for a split second, God gave me a foretaste of that. so focused in Him that i don't even think about my problems.

...a broken and contrite heart He will not despise...
coz He cares...

and Shirley also. she said all we have to do is just be His child. just be. not all the things we have to do as a Christian. i honestly thought she was going to say all we have to do is love Him. but she said just be His child. that's the crux of it after all. just being a daughter, a daughter. loving her Heavenly Father and being so loved. and the rest just fall into place. but it's not easy, ain't it? :) but we do. and when we fall, God doesn't give up. and He hasn't. He hasn't.

during worship, God said to my heart...
Do you trust My Word? I don't know. it's hard. But I trust You. Your character. Because You are a good God.

Be like a child again. humble, always learning. don't think you know so much. always have the attitude, "you don't know enough"