Pei Yiing's Mountain-sized Lesson learnt out of an Anthill... :)

I was planning to go into a long long story of a recent 'misadventure', but since I sort of lost the 'oomph' to write all the details down, I suppose I will just settle with sharing the few lessons I learned from the experience. The whole story of my 'misadventure' will just have to wait for another day when everyone is free to listen. :)

Ok... So here goes...:

Remember the previous cell group meeting, when we had to rank the power of influence of several factors in our lives? I recall that I was the only one at that time who actually ranked 'studies' as my top priority, above even the 'Word of God' (which, ideally, should be on top of everything instead). During this most recent experience, I learned (the unpleasant way) that I put so much priority studies that I practically missed the bigger picture of things. It is ironic that I put so much emphasis on academic excellence that it (in a way) almost jeopardized my chances of doing exactly what I wanted to do so much: excel academically.

Yes, I know this is cliche and 'oversaid', but God is always good. I may have put my worldly possessions and achievements above Him, but He still stays faithful by my side. When I was feeling low, he put Bible verses and words of reassurance into my heart (Jeremiah 29:11, Psalms 23, Matthew 8:28). If that was not enough, He sent me an angel to remind me of his goodness and that I should always trust in Him and derive peace from Him. Indeed, He taught me that I have plenty of 'angels' around me (one of which is named Alicia... :D ), and all I need to do is use my imagination and view each 'angel' with halo and wings. :)

He taught me to wait, to be patient as He works his miracles. He spoke to me and told me that I needed to learn how to forgive. Not others, in this case, but myself. Sometimes it seems easier to put the blame on myself, and refuse to forgive my own weaknesses. But who am I to judge and condemn God's creation, even if that creation is myself?

Probably the strongest message God put forth to me came from 1 Samuel 16:7. Sometimes we become so engrossed in pursuing worldly goods and achievements, claiming that we do it for the sake of glorifying God. Sadly, I realised, the more I try to 'glorify' God, the more worldly and less Godly I become. So what if I am in the Dean's list, or my CAP is 5.0 and I gain a First Class Honours? God doesn't love me for all that. It sort of gave me a wake up call when I realised that it is so easy to verbally agree with the 'God-loves-me-for-who-I-am-and-not-what-I-do' truth, but so difficult to truly live up to.

I wonder if you'll laugh when I tell you about my 'misadventure'. Honestly, come to think about it, I really made a mountain out of an anthill - the problem was not that serious actually, but I was too emotional and overreacted to it. Still, I thank God how He made me so hypersensitive, or else how would He teach me so much from a 'small misadventure'? :) Indeed, Jehovah Jireh - He provides for me in the most unusual and unexpected of ways. Amen. :)

(P/S: The drawing is really a rough sketch. Drew it as the verse spoke to me. :D)